Do you have people in your life that just “get to you”? People who disturb the inner tranquility you have worked SO HARD to achieve? And why are you letting them? Maybe because they are your boss, or your spouse, or your friend for years. We all do it . . .we let others put their stress on us. And it is very hard not to do. Especially once we are in the habit.
And that is specifically what it is. A bad habit, like junk food or nicotine. It makes us feel better to try not to piss them off and we don’t appreciate or recognize the toll it takes on our mind, body and soul.
Negative thoughts affect our very brain function. See the work of Daniel Amen http://ahha.org/articles.asp?Id=100 (he has some good suggestions too). But think about it, you are letting another person affect your brain health! CRAZY! Which ultimately impacts your whole body, weight and health. Not to mention weight if this results in a junk food binge for comfort (it can for me that is for sure!).
A habit doesn’t get broken really. But it can get replaced or “crowded out” by other and better habits. In some ways, this is the only way we move forward. And when we are stressed and emotional is very hard to remember that. It is very hard to feel like we have options.
But you do, you can take baby steps. You don’t have to stand up to your boss and get fired, and you don’t have to leave your spouse – you have other options. And you deserve them.
1. Music. One of the easiest and my favorite is drowning out the negative with music. It is so simple. Get a good pair of headphones. Not only will you relax with your favorite tunes but it will literally change your outlook:
The great thing is music is easily accessible and pretty much free. It is a baby step that is very valuable.
2. Have a time out. Yep just like you would give a three year old. It’s also useful to find a timeout as soon as you can get one. Take a day off, go to the movies. Reconnect with some friends who do not give you stress. This may not be easy to do but changing your environment is also a simple way to change the thought patterns.
3. Pamper yourself. Take a detox bath. 1 cup of baking soda, 1 cup of epsom salts and a few drops of essential lavendar oil! Mix up the kind of oils you use. Of course an expensive massage will also work, but there are cheaper options!
4. Practice gratitude. People who practice gratitude literally have better brain function than those who don’t. WHAT???? But it’s true. Instead of focusing on the bad, force yourself to write down 5 things you are grateful for.
5. Write about it. Writing to a friend or in a diary about what is getting to you can help the feelings subside and more likely than not inspire solutions that don’t wreck your whole day. Like thoughts about “Maybe I could have asked my boss this question instead.” and the like.
Just remember when others are sabotaging your peace, your groove or your inner harmony, it’s ok to take the reigns, even though you have NO CONTROL over their behavior. Listen to the words of Bon Jovi.
“It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way”